The Ups and Downs of Living all by Your Onesie

Its been more than a week since my parents left for their vacation and I started my life as a “single woman living alone” – I’ll have to admit that there are ups and down. 

Up: There’s always something to do:

I like preoccupying myself in the evenings. Besides the obvious “Harry” (my British Shorthair cat) chores, I do random chores around the house and prepare my food for the next day.

Up: I’ve been enjoying cooking

I’ve never been the epitome of domesticity and truth be told, my skills in the kitchen leave much to be desired. Oh sure, I can prepare ingredients but putting them all together is a science that I’ve never really had the chance, desire or reason to delve into. But since living alone, I’ve taken up the challenge of cooking my daily lunch/dinner. I was thinking that I could buy from the school cafeteria but I’ve managed to get this far – without buying pre-packaged food. 

There are some things I’ve learned about myself:

  1. I enjoy cooking. 
  2. I enjoy eating my cooking.
  3. I’m interested in learning more about this.

Up: I’ve been working out consistently

My evenings are a whole lot more productive lately so I’ve been running 7 km on my elliptical machine (20-25 mins) 5 days a week and I think I’m just about ready to get back into blogilates “beast mode”. 

I love working out. I love feeling like I’m doing something good with my body. I’m trying not to weigh myself too often (I bought a weighing scale a few weeks back — to keep myself in check) because I’m not working out to lose weight (Keep reminding myself!). Working out makes me feel better about myself. It gives me positive body image. The more I like myself, the better I feel. The better I feel, the better I look – at least that’s how I think. 

I wish I could say that there were no “downs” in this period. But I guess you just can’t win it all. 

Down: I find that self-pity and loneliness are never too far from me

One moment, I’ll be all happy and proud of myself for yet another successful and “healthier” week. I weigh myself and find that I haven’t lost a single pound. Bummer.

Last Friday, I got sick and my throat felt like sandpaper. I had fevers on and off throughout the weekend. It was hard. I’m 27 years old and all I could think of was, “Mummy! I want my mummy!” (sigh) Oh the luxury of having the parentals around. 

I don’t hate staying at home but its a sobering thought – that I’m going to an empty house, waiting for no one to come. Sometimes it gets to me. 

I haven’t lost sleep yet nor have I cried about “being alone” – primarily because I know it won’t be forever. Come to think of it, three weeks has come and gone so quickly. 

But sometimes, it still gets to me. Yeah. 

I put on the TV so that I don’t have to endure the silence. Its not like I can start talking to Harry now can I? 

Down: Temptation is at every corner

Being alone makes me very conscious about the way I spend my time and what I do with my body. In fact, I’m more self-aware now that I’m alone than when I have people in the house with me. Strange that.

Unfortunately, I’m a creature of many weaknesses and truth be told my “resolve” isn’t that strong either.

Some days, I win… some days, I lose.


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